April 01 2008 12:31:19 PM

Absent Savior

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Everywhere I look I see people begging to be saved. The saddest thing is they don't even know it yet.

March 26 2008 03:00:56 PM

The Swirling Vortex

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I get this feeling sometimes. And it's really hard to capture. It's like a black vortex swirling all around me. Throughout me. Pulling me in all directions, and therefore none at all. I'm just stuck there in the middle, being pulled apart.

February 08 2008 05:16:02 PM

Fill Me Up with Empty

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I keep coming back here.

Looking for something, looking for meaning in this void. I think I've always found my solace in learning. I found my joy in books. The Internet is endless information. Endless entertainment. Something to sink into. I think I look for happiness here, but I'm always left feeling empty - unfulfilled.

There are answers here, but they aren't the ones I need.

January 02 2008 05:09:47 PM

A Comfortable Prison

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It's so gradual that we don't even notice.

It starts with a crib. Bars in pastel colours for our own protection. Then schools where we're taught to be compliant, do as we're told; think as we're told. We're groomed and primed for the ultimate prison.

Work.

Somewhere along the way the human race forgot why we work. Ancient peoples toiled only just as much as they needed to to have enough to eat. We work incessantly today so that we may maintain the extravagent lifestyles that all people in industrilized nations enjoy. But do we really enjoy them at the price that we pay?

We pay with our youth. We pay with our freedom. And in the end, we pay with our lives. Is it really worth it all to have an ipod and a widescreen TV? Are you really giving your children a better life? Or just a really comfortable prison?

November 19 2007 01:54:25 PM

The Missing Pieces

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I think I know what I need to do. I think I've always known.

There are parts of me that I left behind, long ago. Parts that were so badly damaged, I cut them from me and left them to whither in the glacial landscape of my past. Believe not what the Christians say; Hell is a frozen wasteland, without a spark of warmth.

I have to go back. I have to recover the bits of my soul that I left for dead. Lest their phantoms haunt me always.

October 15 2007 04:31:44 PM

Our Highly Mobile Society

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I fear I'm in danger of becoming an anti-technologist. Everywhere I look, I see busy, busy bees. Cell phones, WiFi, Starbucks proliferation. We work everywhere now. All the time, constantly connected.

Does anyone ever stop and ask why it's so important? Everyone wants the drive through version. What do we do with all this time we save?

Work more, so we can buy more stuff. If we weren't all perfect consumers, what would we do with our time?

October 15 2007 01:55:53 PM

Choices

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Everyday, we make choices, great and small. Those choices weave the fabric of our lives, as well as the lives of those we touch.

It's not only the things we choose to do. It's also the things that we choose not to do. Why do we choose not to do things? Fear? Fear of failure perhaps. Boredom? Apathy? Disinterest is the root of those things. With all of the wonders of this world, why choose to put yourself into the position of disinterest?

Rise up.

September 23 2007 10:57:54 PM

A prayer for the disheartened

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Anger will carry you only so far in life.
Beyond that, only love is stronger.

September 23 2007 05:54:37 PM

E-Mail

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There are millions of people all over the world that have benefited from the E-Mail revolution. Families brought closer together. Friends in different time zones, different countries. Minds sharing ideas, collaborating.

I am not one of them.

I hate e-mail. I despise it. I am slave to my inbox and I dread opening it day after day. My work e-mail I have little choice about. It's the defacto standard for receiving your marching orders from your corporate overlords. The question is always, what stupid hoops will I have to jump through today? My personal e-mail I have more choice about and I will go through periods where I avoid it for weeks. The problem with that is that a massive backlog will pile over my hiatus and assail me when I am fool enough to open it again. Each and every one demanding my attention, my time.

So my motivation to check my e-mail is choosing constant bits of harassment over a massive onslaught of it.

The irony is that everyone wants something and the more I look at it, the less I get done.

July 30 2007 10:50:19 AM

Greener Grass

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It is a matter of difference.

On a superficial level it is the people. The way that they think. Or don't think. They way that they interact. The things that they choose to focus on.

It seems that I've always had deep fundamental differences from those people. Most of them anyway. The majority rule tends to suppress the outliers.

I've learned to blend in over time. I learned a long time ago that those that stand out are rarely rewarded for it. The tallest blades are the first cut by the mower. Now I wonder if I even remember who I am. I fear that the longer I maintain it, the more likely I am to believe the myth.

Never have I stopped searching for a place to fit. Always looking for a bit of greener grass. Maybe there isn't any. And besides, grass is for sheep. Or cattle led to the slaughter.

Maybe the answer is that we just have to let go and find our own destiny.